The Closed Books of The Keeper of Records is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exorcist with an even hand, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 20.353 billion Keepers are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Spirituality, and Education are also considered important, while Healthcare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hall of Records. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The strong Recordian economy, worth a remarkable 1,183 trillion Pens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 58,158 Pens, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories', a new guerrilla marketing campaign for tap water involves government agents spraying random citizens with hose water, the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia, and paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force. The Keeper of Records's national animal is the dove and its national religion is Christianity.

The Keeper of Records is ranked 119,071^st in the world and 1^st in Satanists for Most Beautiful Environments, with 541.06 pounds of wildlife per square mile.