The Pirate Confederation of The Grand Duchy of Wilhelmshaven is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Wilhelm with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.29 billion Wilhelmshavenians are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wilhelmshaven. The average income tax rate is 38.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Wilhelmshavenian economy, worth 807 trillion Ironytokens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 188,267 Ironytokens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Prenuptial contracts have replaced diamond rings in marriage proposals, spontaneous nocturnal decapitation is considered 'death by natural causes' for enemies of The Grand Duchy of Wilhelmshaven, scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays, and skateboarding is considered a form of diplomacy. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Grand Duchy of Wilhelmshaven's national animal is the Hammerhead Shark, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Grand Duchy of Wilhelmshaven is ranked 290,570^th in the world and 5^th in The FNWG for Lowest Crime Rates, with 28.07 law-abiding acts per hour.