The Theocracy of The Garden is a mammoth, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The cynical, devout population of 5.02 billion Gardenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, with Welfare, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 34.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Gardenian economy, worth 216 trillion florins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 43,140 florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

A burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons, the government prefers to leave the past buried, ignorance is considered a politically desirable quality, and kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Garden's national animal is the turtle, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

The Garden is ranked 66,195^th in the world and 1^st in Paradise for Nicest Citizens, with 16.29 average smiles per day.