The Republic of The Colonel is a mammoth, cultured nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, devout population of 7.863 billion Colonelians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 41.3%.

The strong Colonelian economy, worth 523 trillion spintrias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 66,566 spintrias, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, primary candidates are replaced if they fail to compliment Leader's hair, people boast about their low income on their dating profiles, and executions often take hours as amateurs attempt to find veins. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Colonel's national animal is the lahbite, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Colonel is ranked 138,582^nd in the world and 14^th in The Mansus for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 39,074.63 Standard Monetary Units.