The Kingdom of Malaikam is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 218 million Malaikamians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Environment, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 59.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Malaikamian economy, worth 8.68 trillion silens a year, is quite specialized and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 39,834 silens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

You can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health, fake designer clothes are shredded and burnt while many in the world don't have a shirt on their back, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, and teenagers claim that morning paper rounds are performance art. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malaikam's national animal is the peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Malaikam is ranked 80,446^th in the world and 1,293^rd in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 17.58 flags saluted per person per day.