The Republic of Tega Kay is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dana with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 14.653 billion Tega Kayians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dogane. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Tega Kayian economy, worth a remarkable 1,508 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 102,960 Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 446,308 per year while the poor average 15,082, a ratio of 29.6 to 1.

Many are questioning Dana wearing an Eckie-Ecola baseball cap during a keynote speech, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, and referenda can be called for any law at the request of at least one third of the voting population. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tega Kay's national animal is the Sexy School Teacher, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Lake.

Tega Kay is ranked 104,966^th in the world and 2^nd in Bikini Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.29 law-abiding acts per hour.