The Armed Republic of Tallahassee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its compulsory military service, complete lack of public education, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 27.068 billion Tallahasseeans are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, moralistic, pro-business government prioritizes Spirituality, with Industry and Defense also on the agenda, while Welfare and Public Transport receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.8%.

The powerhouse Tallahasseean economy, worth a remarkable 1,149 trillion oranges a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 42,462 oranges, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 160,494 per year while the poor average 7,816, a ratio of 20.5 to 1.

Crime is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Tallahassee's national animal is the tourist, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Tallahassee is ranked 112,490^th in the world and 30^th in Florida for Most Corrupt Governments, with 9.27 kickbacks per hour.