The Armed Reich of Svarttjern is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Kaiser Spock with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, rampant corporate plagiarism, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 28.053 billion Svarttjernians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heimdal. The average income tax rate is 18.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Svarttjernian economy, worth a remarkable 5,793 trillion Reichsmarks a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 206,533 Reichsmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pallbearers at military funerals dive for cover when they hear the three-volley salute, nations across the world are quick to praise Kaiser Spock's good looks and intellectual prowess, foreigners are treated with great suspicion, and collisions between bicycles and carnival floats are on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Svarttjern's national animal is the Raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is agnosticism.

Svarttjern is ranked 281,467^th in the world and 13^th in Lux Immortalem for Most Primitive, scoring -356.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.