The Republic of SSN34 is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Daniel O'Connell with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.102 billion SSN34ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blaze View. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.8%.

The frighteningly efficient SSN34ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,558 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 315,815 marks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 947,446 per year while the poor average 82,227, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown, and five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SSN34's national animal is the lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Celtic Paganism.

SSN34 is ranked 7,182^nd in the world and 350^th in Mikes Hope for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 104,850.75 Standard Monetary Units.