The Armed Republic of Sprinkler is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Adolf Einstein with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 14.825 billion Sprinklerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purgatory. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Sprinklerian economy, worth a remarkable 7,094 trillion slaves a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 478,577 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,454,770 per year while the poor average 4,659, a ratio of 956 to 1.

Eight-year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement, schoolchildren learn basic numeracy by counting off their push-ups, policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence', and the government is purchasing vast amounts of palm oil for plastics production. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sprinkler's national animal is the subhuman, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Sprinkler is ranked 31,325^th in the world and 253^rd in the South Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 70.9 trillion Standard Monetary Units.