The Armed Republic of Sprinkler is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Adolf Einstein with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, zero percent divorce rate, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 13.32 billion Sprinklerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purgatory. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Sprinklerian economy, worth a remarkable 6,348 trillion slaves a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 476,643 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,436,448 per year while the poor average 4,644, a ratio of 955 to 1.

Vehicular manslaughter is apparently a victimless crime, it is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander, the government is often referred to as "the biggest drug dealer in the nation", and billions of slaves are being blown on orbital weapons development. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sprinkler's national animal is the subhuman, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Sprinkler is ranked 114^th in the world and 5^th in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 1,088.41 kickbacks per hour.