The Dictatorship of Spelf is a very large, socially progressive nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 235 million Spelfians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. The average income tax rate is 32.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Spelfian economy, worth 10.5 trillion Heky Attentions a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 44,560 Heky Attentions, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, the breathalyser pledge is a traditional part of marriages in Spelf, and kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spelf's national animal is the Whipping Hekster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Spelf is ranked 294,987^th in the world and 3^rd in Covfefe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -6.75 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.