The United Socialist States of Salgovia is a large, safe nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion, hatred of cheese, and devotion to social welfare. The cynical population of 131 million Salgovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Salgovian economy, worth 3.92 trillion Rubleses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 29,940 Rubleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", Harry Potter books are banned, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public, and the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Salgovia's national animal is the idk yet, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Salgovia is ranked 78,506^th in the world and 1^st in United Dictatorial Administration for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,266.1 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.