The Republic of Pohja-Parnumaa is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, enslaved workforce, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.072 billion Pohja-Parnumaans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 75.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pohja-Parnumaan economy, worth 114 trillion Ducats a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 106,749 Ducats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Diaper ads feature vertically-challenged adults wearing bootees, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, comedians who make offensive jokes have their ticket proceeds seized, and the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pohja-Parnumaa's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Pohja-Parnumaa is ranked 284,593^rd in the world and 713^th in Novaya Zemlya for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -9.03 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.