The United States of Minimalis is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Commander Silver Goldman with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, ubiquitous missile silos, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 2.352 billion Minimalists have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Minimalism. The average income tax rate is 49.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Minimalisian economy, worth 495 trillion Imperial Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 210,688 Imperial Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, visions of giant pink Humanas are a common side effect after Minimalists eat their meals, and evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Minimalis's national animal is the Humana, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Minimalis is ranked 14,163^rd in the world and 290^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 55.51 flags saluted per person per day.