The Republic of Only Friends is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.377 billion friends are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 7.5%.

The thriving friend economy, worth 155 trillion friendships a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 65,608 friendships, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Tuxedo rental companies are inexplicably going out of business, they unpaved paradise and tore up a parking lot (ooh, bop bop bop), economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, and comatose jurors are the defense's favorite. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Only Friends's national animal is the Boston, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Only Friends is ranked 82,502^nd in the world and 25^th in BL Nations for Highest Drug Use, scoring 211.07 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.