The Republic of Old Tilden is a massive, genial nation, notable for its smutty television, ban on automobiles, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.137 billion Old Tildenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Tildenian economy, worth 137 trillion Ducats a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 120,871 Ducats, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 607,991 per year while the poor average 13,430, a ratio of 45.3 to 1.

Textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, and government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Tilden's national animal is the Tilden, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Tilden is ranked 43,713^th in the world and 2^nd in Samuel Tilden for Highest Average Incomes, with 120,871.27 Standard Monetary Units.