The Filthy Green Republic of Old Spinnery is a titanic, cultured nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 22.527 billion Oldies are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Complex. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.4%.

The powerhouse Old Spinneryian economy, worth a remarkable 2,507 trillion quinces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 111,297 quinces, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 452,172 per year while the poor average 18,211, a ratio of 24.8 to 1.

The government is a proud sponsor of the National Gaming Association, twelfth-generation Oldies are deported for not knowing Leader's childhood nickname, baby formula has some strange packaging, and the recently unemployed can often be seen at the local homeless shelter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Spinnery's national animal is the octopus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Old Spinnery is ranked 299,348^th in the world and 12^th in T2R for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring zero on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.