The Holy Empire of North Waldorff is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, free-roaming dinosaurs, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, devout population of 1.461 billion North Waldorffians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 67.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped North Waldorffian economy, worth 46.5 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Trout Farming. Average income is 31,829 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

North Waldorffian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, thousands of picky mothers-in-law have been recruited to serve as even pickier cookery instructors, children have nightmares about the eerie red glow and constant whirring of newly-installed machines, and a referendum must be held in order for any new law to be passed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Waldorff's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

North Waldorff is ranked 37,259^th in the world and 1^st in Vertu for Nicest Citizens, with 18.96 average smiles per day.