The Guardians of North Akia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Tony Horncastle with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 15.392 billion North Akians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hemmingsby. The average income tax rate is 38.9%.

The powerhouse North Akian economy, worth a remarkable 1,342 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 87,251 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people, wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, and the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. North Akia's national animal is the Duck, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

North Akia is ranked 112,429^th in the world and 4^th in Crown of Victoria for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 1,587.06 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.