
| Population | 7.717 billion |
| Capital | Scissors Run |
| Leader | Gary the Safety Woodpecker |
| Currency | simoleon |
| Animal | woodpecker |
The Sharper Image of Nocutter is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Gary the Safety Woodpecker with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-working, democratic population of 7.717 billion Nocutterians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scissors Run. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.5%.
The all-consuming Nocutterian economy, worth 667 trillion simoleons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 86,514 simoleons, with the richest citizens earning 8.5 times as much as the poorest.
The drive to dismantle public transport has crashed and burned, a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, children high on sugar can often be seen bouncing off walls, and a new "thought police" branch is being developed. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Nocutter's national animal is the woodpecker, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.
Nocutter is ranked 77,250th in the world and 12th in Haiku for Most Developed, scoring 68.05 on the Human Development Index.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- :
Nocutter's influence in Haiku rose from "Apprentice" to "Vassal".
- : Following new legislation in
Nocutter, a new "thought police" branch is being developed.
- :
Nocutter's influence in Haiku fell from "Vassal" to "Apprentice".
- :
Nocutter's influence in Haiku rose from "Apprentice" to "Vassal".
- : Following new legislation in
Nocutter, children high on sugar can often be seen bouncing off walls.
- : Following new legislation in
Nocutter, a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass.
- : Following new legislation in
Nocutter, the drive to dismantle public transport has crashed and burned.
- :
Nocutter lodged a message on the Haiku Regional Message Board.
- : Following new legislation in
Nocutter, election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes.
- :
Nocutter was reclassified from "Capitalist Paradise" to "Corporate Bordello".





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