The Dominion of Nikolopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Nik The Great with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 11.772 billion Nikolopiates love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nikolopia Maximi. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Nikolopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,998 trillion Nikolopals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 169,749 Nikolopals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations, lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles, and the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Nikolopiates any less frightened. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Nikolopia's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nikolopia is ranked 286,252^nd in the world and 3^rd in Elsewhere for Most Primitive, scoring -473.98 on the Scary Big Number Scale.