The Colony of Metropolitan Pache is a colossal, socially progressive nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The democratic, devout population of 3.317 billion Metropolitan Pacheans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Birkira. The average income tax rate is 34.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Metropolitan Pachean economy, worth 126 trillion mitars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. Average income is 38,264 mitars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Metropolitan Pache has designated Birkira as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Metropolitan Pache's national animal is the Paché koldar.

Metropolitan Pache is ranked 100,640^th in the world and 11^th in Metropolitan Corvinia for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 2,906.26 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.