The Dictatorship of Merlance is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Merci with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.113 billion Mercians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cania. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Mercean economy, worth 954 trillion Conchias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 306,731 Conchias, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, the government is proudly free of crabs, and nobody thinks that the Godfather was bettered by Part 2. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merlance's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Mercism.

Merlance is ranked 329,859^th in the world and 7^th in Atrax for Nicest Citizens, with 0.15 average smiles per day.