The Constitutional Monarchy of Loehmakistan is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Sir Kyle with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, public floggings, and frequent executions. The compassionate population of 21.473 billion Loehmakistanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kylestonia. The average income tax rate is 18.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loehmakistanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,496 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 255,984 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong, the Great Pyramid of Kylestonia can be seen from miles away, religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, and shady doctors seem to have impeccable records. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Loehmakistan's national animal is the Pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Loehmakistan is ranked 290,257^th in the world and 138^th in Canada for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.29 kickbacks per hour.