The Green Leaves of Letttuce is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its state-planned economy, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The quiet, industrious population of 4.041 billion Letttuceans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 72.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Letttucean economy, worth 95.0 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Cheese Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 23,497 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal to make racist remarks in public, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, genetic researchers have been expelled, and the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Letttuce's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Letttuce is ranked 139,604^th in the world and 5^th in The Carrot Patch for Most Primitive, scoring -47.75 on the Scary Big Number Scale.