The Republic of Leo Lipski is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, otherworldly petting zoo, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.462 billion Leo Lipskians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Batia. The average income tax rate is 74.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Leo Lipskian economy, worth 450 trillion marks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 130,144 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Holy matrimony has been wedded to an unwieldy bureaucracy, politicians who vacation in East Lebatuck lose their jobs upon their return, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and hordes of gardening enthusiasts are being banished from cities nationwide. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Leo Lipski's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Leo Lipski is ranked 294,079^th in the world and 30^th in Poland for Nicest Citizens, with 1.3 average smiles per day.