The Watchfires of Lan-1 is a titanic, safe nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, ban on automobiles, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 23.157 billion Lan-1ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.7%.

The Lan-1ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,182 trillion $$s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,075 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Parents ask their ten-year-olds for help with their government-mandated book reports, all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, and many are asking why the latest naval vessel is named after Saint Bartholomeus the Many Handed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lan-1's national animal is the laughing swordfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Lan-1 is ranked 283,201^st in the world and 1^st in Lanai for Nicest Citizens, with 3.13 average smiles per day.