The Social Democratic Republic of Lam Tes is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by General Peter the Great with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The cynical, devout population of 5.323 billion Lam Tesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Tesian. The average income tax rate is 69.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Lam Tesian economy, worth 228 trillion Federal Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 42,942 Federal Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The might of the entire Lam Tesian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, charged suspects often have to wait years before the courts have room to judge their trial, strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, and government officials have to mortgage their homes to make ends meet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lam Tes's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Right Wing Populism.

Lam Tes is ranked 137,859^th in the world and 1^st in The Freedom and Prosperity Commonwealth for Nudest, with 139.75 cheeks per square mile.