The Totally Communist State of Kharkivan Cossacks is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Ukraine with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, flagrant waste-dumping, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.411 billion 𝕶ₕₐᵣ 𝖐ᵢᵥₐₙ 𝕮ₒₛₛₐ 𝕮ₖ ☭ are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kharkov. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.3%.

The frighteningly efficient 𝕮ₒₛₛₐ 𝕮ₖ ☭ economy, worth 666 trillion 𝕵ᵢₙₒ 𝕮ᵣₒ𝖜ₙₛ ☭s a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 123,230 𝕵ᵢₙₒ 𝕮ᵣₒ𝖜ₙₛ ☭s, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,115,750 per year while the poor average 1,612, a ratio of 692 to 1.

No cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, they unpaved paradise and tore up a parking lot (ooh, bop bop bop), people forget to eat because they are too busy singing Ukraine's praises, and theft is considered to be okay if the crime happened a long time ago. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kharkivan Cossacks's national animal is the ᑭᵃʳᵃᶠᵒˡ☭, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Deception.

Kharkivan Cossacks is ranked 308,561^st in the world and 156^th in Shin Godzilla for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -12.65 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.