The Protectorate of Kelivan is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.33 billion Kelivanians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 34.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Kelivanian economy, worth 131 trillion Rubles a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 30,462 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, Kelivan City consists only of government buildings and the mansions of government janitors, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, and Kelivan is increasingly belligerent on the international stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kelivan's national animal is the Sparrow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Kelivan is ranked 113,346^th in the world and 1^st in The new region for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.