The Republic of Kaozakstan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by The Great Kahuna with a fair hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 28.314 billion Kaozakstanians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaokamamipolis. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaozakstanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,058 trillion Kollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,035 Kollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Running away is an essential part of the elite forces' hand-to-hand training, a third of Kaozakstanians are e-certified CEOs, mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them, and government opponents tend to have their patents rejected immediately. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaozakstan's national animal is the Manx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kaozakstan is ranked 3,999^th in the world and 175^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 62.21 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.