The Watchires of Jersey-1 is a titanic, safe nation, renowned for its soft-spoken computers, daily referendums, and smutty television. The compassionate population of 23.19 billion Jersey-1ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 36.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Jersey-1ian economy, worth 952 trillion $$s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 41,082 $$s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies, and building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jersey-1's national animal is the laughing swordfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Jersey-1 is ranked 106,360^th in the world and 1^st in Dunkirk for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 2,127.29 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.