The Oppressed Peoples of Issues Test Bed is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by J Nobel Daggett esq with an even hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 22.558 billion Issues Test Bedians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ground Zero. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Issues Test Bedian economy, worth a remarkable 2,036 trillion Silver Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 90,276 Silver Dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 573,004 per year while the poor average 5,898, a ratio of 97.1 to 1.

Boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers, women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, and pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Issues Test Bed's national animal is the Alaskan Malamute, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Issues Test Bed is ranked 122,531^st in the world and 33^rd in Texas for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.94 law-abiding acts per hour.