The Socratic Surprise of I Drank What is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ban on automobiles, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 24.487 billion I Drank Whatians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is primarily concerned with Spirituality, with Education, Environment, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of I Drank What City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.9%.

The I Drank Whatian economy, worth 946 trillion Hemlocks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery. Average income is 38,635 Hemlocks, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

It is believed that behind every great man is a terrified subservient woman, new treatments are rejected if they cannot be explained using only one-syllable words, the military's primary weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and a fanatical devotion to Christianity, and victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. I Drank What's national animal is the Socrates, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

I Drank What is ranked 229,909^th in the world and 1^st in Earth Industries and Affiliates for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 223.69 on the Gilded Widget Scale.