The Free Land of Heatlands is a large, cultured nation, notable for its smutty television, frequent executions, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 193 million Heatlandsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.5%.

The very strong Heatlandsian economy, worth 11.0 trillion pebbles a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Retail, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 56,922 pebbles, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 311,502 per year while the poor average 5,309, a ratio of 58.7 to 1.

Shipping canals are a bit like unimaginative cheese shops -- filled with debris, the new cheese tax is colloquially known as "wheel welfare", the only crimes that get investigated are doughnut heists, and soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Heatlands's national animal is the lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Heatlands is ranked 280,454^th in the world and 15^th in The Grand Council of the Beard for Highest Poor Incomes, with 5,309.94 Standard Monetary Units.