The Republic of Guadalcanal Islander is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its anti-smoking policies, ban on automobiles, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working, devout population of 22.978 billion Guadalcanal Islanderians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 38.8%.

The thriving Guadalcanal Islanderian economy, worth a remarkable 1,576 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 68,626 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Unemployed political consultants and advertisers spend every election night weeping for the good old days, warning signs caution Guadalcanal Islanderians where they may fall off 'the edge of the world', customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guadalcanal Islander's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Guadalcanal Islander is ranked 188,075^th in the world and 1^st in Guadalcanal for Most Primitive, scoring -75.15 on the Scary Big Number Scale.