The Republic of Group A is a mammoth, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical population of 8.194 billion Group Aians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.1%.

The strong Group Aian economy, worth 427 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Cheese Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 52,138 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage, teachers regularly paddle unruly students, kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named", and the police have taken to prying guns out of the cold fingers of Group Aians. Crime is moderate. Group A's national animal is the dolphin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Group A is ranked 235,076^th in the world and 1^st in Group A for Highest Drug Use, scoring 66.93 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.