The Federated Giraffe State of Giraffeton is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Professional Giraffe with a fair hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, avant-garde cinema, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.335 billion Giraffetonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giraffeton City. The average income tax rate is 68.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffetonian economy, worth 608 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 114,150 Giraffereums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has little issue with allowing its citizens to languish in foreign jails, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes, snitches get riches, and citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature'. Crime is totally unknown. Giraffeton's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Giraffeton is ranked 50,437^th in the world and 14^th in The Giraffe Federation for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.1 law-abiding acts per hour.