The Colony of Giov is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its closed borders, disturbing lack of elderly people, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 8.491 billion Giovannians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giovannia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.3%.

The all-consuming Giovannian economy, worth 858 trillion Golden Orbs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 101,111 Golden Orbs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 301,083 per year while the poor average 26,605, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

Hand-to-hand combat experience is udderly essential for all dairy ranchers, prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail, caroling is considered a public disturbance, and the government is denying reports that criminals injected with experimental drugs have turned into monstrous supervillains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giov's national animal is the Elephant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Giov is ranked 69,208^th in the world and 288^th in Giovanniland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.19 law-abiding acts per hour.