The Charming Cow of Gio Farm 81 is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its frequent executions, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.708 billion Gio Farm 81ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 77.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gio Farm 81ian economy, worth 989 trillion cards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 113,598 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, citizens must inform the government each time they have a haircut, shady doctors seem to have impeccable records, and it can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gio Farm 81's national animal is the farm, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gio Farm 81 is ranked 272,352^nd in the world and 441^st in Giovanniland for Highest Food Quality, scoring 6.58 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.