The United Socialist States of Fingertits is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Peter with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 21.516 billion Fingertitsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Netscape. The average income tax rate is 79.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Fingertitsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,537 trillion Golden Kappas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,926 Golden Kappas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, tourists call Fingertitsian beach towns "the fine coastline", and Fingertitsian diplomacy is by the book. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Fingertits's national animal is the FrankerZ, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Fingertits is ranked 200,482^nd in the world and 6^th in HoH SiS for Largest Black Market, with 485 billion Standard Monetary Units.