The Global Unifier of Elijahs Order is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, anti-smoking policies, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.942 billion Firstlians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Regional Assembly. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.2%.

The all-consuming Elijahs Orderian economy, worth 935 trillion Joleesian Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 117,760 Joleesian Rubles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 404,702 per year while the poor average 25,127, a ratio of 16.1 to 1.

Diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, the nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet, the nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law (Elijahs Order has found 1 easter egg), and virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in The Regional Assembly. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Elijahs Order's national animal is the Brown Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Elijahs Order is ranked 264,294^th in the world and 11^th in First World Order for Most Primitive, scoring -208.6 on the Scary Big Number Scale.