The Federal Socialist Republic of El Rio De Juan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Juanito Rodriguez with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 4.174 billion Juanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Isla Paradiso. The average income tax rate is 83.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Juanian economy, worth 588 trillion Islander's Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 141,061 Islander's Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear, the National Archive now covers square miles of warehouses in order to accommodate its new stone tablets system, it is against the rules of boxing to hit above or below the belt, and Juanito Rodriguez reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. El Rio De Juan's national animal is the Black Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Catholic Church.

El Rio De Juan is ranked 15,063^rd in the world and 1^st in Dacian islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.2 law-abiding acts per hour.