The Empire of Eepyhead is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The devout population of 3.843 billion Eepyheadians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Environment are also considered important. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.5%.

The thriving Eepyheadian economy, worth 285 trillion Duckcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 74,247 Duckcoins, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, immigrant Maxtopians are routinely sold on popular internet auction sites, billions of Duckcoins are being poured into a space program, and international tensions are high as Eepyhead threatens any government with the audacity to arrest its citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eepyhead's national animal is the Duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eepyhead is ranked 184,871^st in the world and 818^th in Artificial Solar System for Highest Poor Incomes, with 22,245.61 Standard Monetary Units.