The Republic of Dirty Dan is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Dirty Dan with an even hand, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, pith helmet sales, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 5.028 billion Dirty Dans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Healthcare, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Texas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.1%.

The thriving Dirty economy, worth 356 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 70,929 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 9.4 times as much as the poorest.

Having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom, cheering flag-waving citizens don't like to think too hard about politics, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, and the national anthem's only purpose is to inflate Dirty Dan's ever-expanding ego. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dirty Dan's national animal is the Clam, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Filth.

Dirty Dan is ranked 8,634^th in the world and 2^nd in Galts Gulch for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 6,107.13 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.