The Constitutional Monarchy of Dick Celeste is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, remarkable for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed population of 11.908 billion Dick Celesteans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 39.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Dick Celestean economy, worth 689 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 57,909 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

In life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, happiness is all being miserable together, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, and solid-gold toilets are Dick Celestean prisons' least expensive furnishings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dick Celeste's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Dick Celeste is ranked 119,680^th in the world and 77^th in The Gallery for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.74 law-abiding acts per hour.