The Republic of Coua Alk is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its frequent executions, avant-garde cinema, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.542 billion Coua Alkians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.3%.

The sizeable but inefficient Coua Alkian economy, worth 79.5 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,546 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

There's a hole in the heart of every Coua Alkian city, this summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's, libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it, and burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coua Alk's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coua Alk is ranked 289,480^th in the world and 74^th in Der Leibwache for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -6.32 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.