The Kingdom of United Islands of Cotarl is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Garshield Bayhan with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, fear of technology, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 1.994 billion Cotarlians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liocott. The average income tax rate is 73.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Cotarlian economy, worth 191 trillion Fish a year, is highly specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,984 Fish, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The School of Hard Knocks is receiving record application numbers., pet owners want to know why their animals keep smiling at them, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers', and many rural villagers have never been more than a day's horse-ride from their birthplace. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cotarl's national animal is the Bristlemouth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Umbanda.

Cotarl is ranked 12,470^th in the world and 7^th in Flanelistan for Nicest Citizens, with 27.68 average smiles per day.