The Republic of Cooliestan is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by President with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 24.717 billion Cooliestanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Public Transport, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miami. The average income tax rate is 7.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cooliestanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,506 trillion Coolie Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 222,797 Coolie Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Vaccinations are mandatory, drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth, athletes are renowned for being the best at maths, and making up random numbers to name new asteroids is the bulk of astronomers' work. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cooliestan's national animal is the Scarlet Ibis, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cooliestan is ranked 1,540^th in the world and 1^st in Caribbean for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 206,979.12 Standard Monetary Units.