The Republic of Conservatistan is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by President Abraham Knox with an even hand, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, pith helmet sales, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 5.859 billion Conservatistanians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Orthodokcity. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 61.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Conservatistanian economy, worth 949 trillion Sandys a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 162,104 Sandys, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 481,992 per year while the poor average 42,744, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

The caged-bird trade is singing, battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out, citizens can't decide whether to be proud or horrified by the country's colonial history, and taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Conservatistan's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Conservatistan is ranked 70,086^th in the world and 5^th in Sphere of Conservative Republics for Highest Poor Incomes, with 42,744.1 Standard Monetary Units.